Still off visiting family but it's beginning to get like a fish. After three days, it begins to smell a little. I think I just long to be home and to be able to live out of the house than out of the suitcase and to do my own things. Still thinking about the surgery and getting plent of advice from people who have been through it and those who have not. Some of it might be good. I will probably do my own thing in the end anyway. I have a full week of tests when I get back between a stress test and going to the VA hospital for a cardiac check-up. After we get back, I will only have three months left with the church as they won't be keeping me on after March 31. May the Lord bless us as we end this year and get ready for the next.

Still down in Virginia as we get ready to go to our son's family on Wednesday. Still thinking about the surgery and hope that everything goes OK. Good Sunday School Class yesterday. We listened to a tape from David Jeremiah. Why worry about the things you can't control anyway? Trying to put it into practice. Every now and then I wonder what's going on in my body. Check in later for more on preparing for surgery involving cancer and who knows what else.

Well, it's Christmas Eve and we are still home as sickness has caused us to delay our trip south at present. We will be leaving tomorrow morning. Also, I will be having another test...a stress test on January 6 before I can have the surgery. This is to make sure that the heart is all right. No doubt about the surgery as being the way to go. After talking with my doctor, he confirmed that this would be the best route. So, we are going full speed ahead. If anyone is in a praying posture out there, I would appreciate the prayers. Check in later to see what's going on.

Wow! Just when you think you hve everything figured out, something changes. I go to the doctor here, my local general practicioner, in order to see if I am medically fit for surgery. But, do I really want the surgery or would radiation be sufficient? New questions to think about. I thought I had it all figured out but then you talk to people who have had it done and say they would go with the radiation if they had it to do all over again. What to do? Still thinking and praying about the situation. I am sure that God will lead in the end. Just want to be sure about things. See you all later.

The cantata presentation went very well yesterday. The choir did a superb job in all respects. I enjoyed just being a part of it. It will probably be my last cantata presentation at Bethel but that doesn't mean it will be my last cantata. I will be looking for a church somewhere that can use my experience and offer me a place in which to serve. Talk to one of the in-laws today about the prostate cancer deal. He had it done several years ago and thinks I should look for a second opinion. So, up in the air again. I go to my regular doctor on Wednesday, just a couple of days away so will approach the subject with him. So, far, still leaning towards the surgery just based upon a PSA of 10.32 even though the cancer specimen was smaller than the PSA warranted. Is there more present? That's really the underlying thought. Going out to a church member's home today and have been invited to dinner so we will stay for dinner. Check in tomorrow or the next day and see what's going on in our lives.

Well, here we are again. Still waiting and still thinking. You begin to think that cancer is all over your body just because you have been diagnosed with cancer. Is that normal? Another thought. What about the FDA? Can you trust such an organization as the FDA when two arthritus drugs are causing problems? What are they supposed to be doing? You used to be able to trust what the doctor prescribed and what the pharmacist gave you. I guess that is not the case any longer. Why should I trust something that is FDA approved? It doesn't make any sense to me. This seems to be the typical political climate. Getting ready for the final rehearsal this afternoon for the cantata. That will be presented on Sunday morning which is tomorrow. Then, the final cantata, at least the final one from this church, will be over. I will be looking for a church where I can do some more cantatas and be involved in the music once more. I'm not giving up yet. Stay tuned for more to follow.

Well, one test has been completed. I went for the kidney ultrasound yesterday. That was a fun time. Just a little warm jelly on the end of the probe as it moved over the outside of my stomach looking for may kidneys. We will trust the Lord for the outcome of that. This is a Wednesday so there is a full day at the church. The choir practice this evening will be one of the last rehearsals for the cantata. We will have a dress rehearsal on Saturday from 1 to 3 PM. Trying to keep busy as the outlook of having to have surgery in January is still there and is still unpleasant to think about. So, I don't think about it. Just wait and keep busy. The Lord will provide day by day. Don't worry about tomorrow. Stay tuned. more reports to follow.

Well, things are progressing as normal. I have the kidney ultrasound today at 3:00 PM and so will go to that after the adult ministry meets at noon. The funeral for one of our members will be on Thursday at the church. Still having to deal with a lot of things in my mind, but will try to focus my attention upon the Lord. We have plans to go to the family during the holidays providing nothing else happens. Who knows. Stay tuned for more fantastic events.

The day started out with a change. One of our dear members passed away last night. He will be missed but we are comforted from the Scriptures that he is with the Lord.

Well, here it is another Monday. Mondays are not that good as you have too much time to think after a busy week end. But, we have a lot planned for today and so will get to it. Don't dwell on what could be but what is. Still trying to make plans for the holidays. Have a kidney ultrasound tomorrow to see if they are OK. Then, blood tests on the 17th, then a doctor's visit on the 22nd. Then, we will be free for the holidays for a while anyway...

Apprehension???

After 48 hours in the "cancer" realm, I am still having a bit of apprehension. I guess it's not so much the fact of having cancer, while that is a concern, naturally, it is the idea of having your body cut upon and then the process of healing that has to take place. These are not things that really please me. But, I know that they don't please anyone and yet millions of people go through them day after day. They have to in order to survive. For many, they may not have any help at all. At least, I do have help. Oh, the help doesn't come in the form of close friends, but it comes in the form of comfort from God and His Word. In that I do put my trust and look forward to the outcome. I have to have something in which to put my trust other than my surgeon. Yet, I guess I should trust him as my life will be in his hands. Or will it? It is still, as always, in God's hands. Well, more thoughts coming up so stay tuned for the next update.

It's Cancer

So, the doctor comes into the office and says, "Well, we did find some evidence of cancer." You expect news like that with a rising PSA but it still doens't make it any more pleasant. The doctor then goes over the options. But, since I had already been thinking about my options, it didn't take long for me to decide to go the route of the complete removal of the prostate. Even understanding the possible side affects, this seems to be the best course of action. Scared? You got it. Have a pain between the legs? As a matter of fact, Yes! Just thinking about it gives me a sensation that is comparable to that which I get when I look out over a high building or cliff. So, now is the time for me to "Practice what I preach." I will have to put it all into the Lord's hands. Easy to say but sometimes hard to do. Still, I will go the course trusting Him that things will work out according to his plan. Stay tuned for more information.